Today was the opening ceremony for the kids baseball and softball leagues. This is the worst day of the year! The leagues try to schedule pictures for all the teams and then each team plays a 2 inning game. TOTAL MAYHEM!! My husband so conveniently couldn't make it because he was attending a golf tournament. And so I was left to get the kids dressed and to the fields this morning. Jeffrey Michael had pictures at 10 am and his game at 11 am. Paige had pictures at 1 pm and her game at 2 pm. I think Paige spent $20 at the concession stand by 10:05 am! Then somehow in all the madness we lost her glove. Well as I mentioned before, the child does not like to get rid of anything so that was a total meltdown and I became the worst person in the world.
But that was before I punched her in the jaw. HEAR ME OUT! We were walking to the other field and I was trying to get her to stop crying and I thought I had finally turned her mood around and I went to jab her on the arm. We were walking and I tripped on a dip in the grass and my knuckles landed on the bottom part of her side jaw. CAN YOU STAND IT!! I wanted to die. She fell to the ground screaming "You punched me in the jaw!" I start crying and trying to apologize saying I was trying to jab your shoulder and I missed. All I could think was someone somewhere caught it on video and I'm going to be the main story on CNN. "Mother Punches Daughter on Opening Day." She was so hot at me and wouldn't let me hug her or anything. She just kept saying over and over " I can't believe you punched me in the face." It wasn't that hard as I was just trying to hit her side arm/shoulder but my daughter could win an Academy Award with her performances. The funny thing was that at the same time I was saying "Your tough" and boom right on the edge of the jaw. It didn't leave a mark or bruise thank goodness. I could just imagine people asking her -what happened? Oh, I lost my glove at the opening ceremonies for softball and my mom PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! This is going to be brought up each and every time she wants something. She'll guilt me forever over this! And my husband, yah, he'll be throwing digs at me all the time now.
Yup, Opening Day 2009 will always be remembered as the day I punched my daughter in the jaw. I'm not earning too many Mother of the Year points with that one.
2 comments:
oh my. that sounds like something that I would do especially to my middle child. I am not sure how I would have handled all that except of course cursing my husband out under my breath for not being there to help. My husband has those "golf" outings at the craziest times too.
thanks for you kindness on my blog. I don't know. I could either blog or drink heavily. Blogging is probably the better choice : )
That is way to funny! I totally laughed outloud!]
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